I'm constantly looking for the colossal epiphany that answers all of my questions.
Where am I going? What am I supposed to be doing? Will I get to become all I've dreamt of?
Often it doesn't come. Not the way I want.
Instead, I'm compelled to ask that I hear His voice in the whisper, as He gently takes my hand in His:
Like a father his child,
a lover his love.
Lord, Guide me in my blindness to our appointed destination.
For I am still trying to decide, when I just need to discern
Moment by moment; step by step.
I act as if God is standing in a field and pointing out the direction to take, yelling to me, go there!
Like a coach at a baseball game, shouting commands to run! stop! steal! go home!
The distance seems great between us.
I act as if all I can do to complete my life assignments (mission impossible style) is to believe I heard, choose to accept it, then sprint off in my own strength and abilities to make it happen.
Only, it's not a game.
It's more like a safari, trudging through the jungle wasteland together; plowing through the shrubs and thick trees.
Hoping to not be devoured by ravaging beasts and aggressive fellow-trudgers;
Machete in hand He knowingly paves the way that leads me through.
My hand is still nestled securely in His.
Slashing and cutting through the obstacles, a way appears where there seems to be none.
He is so good at that!
I can see the light promising me victory.
He's still holding me.
I should be excited as we near the destination.
But I try even harder to do things my way; my timing, my pace, as if I am leading Him.
He applies loving pressure, knowing my internal struggle and doubt.
I attempt to take my hand back; wondering if this is the right way.
Looking back at me, His loving gaze invites me to trust Him.
Let go; rest, trust, believe - He's got this.
Nodding, I decide to be willing to do things His way: His timing, His pace.
I am following.
THE DAY has been set aside to be still.
Time to not hustle around, producing.
Not chase cars through traffic in a game of Simon says,
urgently attempting to satisfy the urgent.
Quiet the mind, in hopes of silencing the noise.
Open the mind, to steer the heart towards creative fruit.
All my senses Lord, use all of my senses;
Breeze brushing my hair across my face,
sights of butterflies and deeply twisted roots cascading through the ground.
The smell of lavender inviting calm,
hear the whisper and important sounds, heeded more loudly than voices found.
Rushing water, whistling trees,
inviting me to sit by them and leave the distractions behind.
Let this time Lord, be about touching butterflies and blossoming dreams.